10/04/10: The Science of Product Innovation
or Seriously, Your Teeth Can’t Get Any Damn Whiter…
A few years ago, my friend and I were complaining about the recent deluge in cookie “innovations”. I still really don’t understand the point of oblong Oreos or bags of Chips Ahoy Bites. What’s wrong with round cookies? Were people complaining that these cookies weren’t cool or modern? Is there really a need for Oreos to turn the milk different colors? Do kids not like white milk anymore?
As a person who dabbles in the world of branding, I know it’s a little more sinister than this. Fearing audience boredom with current products, Nabisco needs to make sure that we do not buy something else and ensure its audience stays “on brand.” So the reasoning goes, what people really need is a new cookie. Or a new old cookie. “It’s so not your Mom’s cookie!” It’s oblong! It turns the milk a different color! And there you have the “science of product innovation,” as it’s called in corporate speak. (I’m sure this term must offend real scientists.) As far as I can see, product innovation is nothing more than a sad, fairly obvious attempt by companies to make you keep buying the same product with a slightly new meaningless twist.
In this vein, we have the mindboggling wall of toothpaste at the drugstore. Strangely, my normally rational husband is obsessed with buying the latest toothpaste product. When I was in grad school, my professors always trotted out toothpaste as the prime example of brand loyalty. Your parents were either Colgate or Crest and thus when you went out on your own, you just followed along. While my family flirted with AquaFresh at my beseeching, ok begging, (I mean, talk about product innovation! It has three different colors and comes out of a pump!), we were for the most part, loyal to Crest.
When Erik and I moved in together, he brought his tube of Colgate to the relationship. Out of love, I acquiesced and tossed my Crest.
So I should have known something was awry when a few years ago he purchased Arm and Hammer Advanced White. When I looked askance at it, he pointed out excitedly that it had BAKING SODA in it! It was “Advanced.” It said so on the box. This one would really make our teeth whiter! (I was reminded of the bogus claims of Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound – don’t know about it? Here’s a link.)
And so began Erik’s endless quest for whiteness (my professors would be horrified): Crest, Colgate, Tom’s of Main, Arm & Hammer, Gleem (Ok, he never bought Gleem). Erik was not bound by brand loyalty, but actually persuaded by spurious whitening “ product innovation.” Here are just a few of the products he purchased over the past couple of years (click image to enlarge). (Note this does not even include the many packs of whitening strips that have passed through our medicine cabinet.) 
All of this reminds me of an article I read a few years ago in The Onion, U.S. Dentists Can’t Make Nation’s Teeth Any Damn Whiter.
So I thought perhaps Erik had finally believed his teeth were damned white enough when he purchased the same toothpaste three times in a row. Our loyalty was established. Colgate. Total Whitening. My professors could breathe a sigh of relief. We were back on brand.
Until last week. Erik brought home yet another new kind of toothpaste. It was Colgate so I guess technically we’re still brand loyal… but this one is Max White. He opened it up and said, “Look, It’s got little whitening strips in it! Actual white strips! And the tube is clear.” As if that has anything to do with cleaning your teeth! Weird clear trends—anyone remember Crystal Pepsi?
Ah, the power of persuasion, I mean, innovation. Colgate should be proud of winning the toothpaste war in the Diehn household … at least until Crest ups the ante. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens when we run out of toothpaste.
Comments
Tell Erik to try CREST Professional grade Advanced (and whatever else it says) whitening strips—they’re the ones that cost nearly $50 a box—but they really REALLY work. He has to use them for 10 days, twice a day, 30 minutes each time. His teeth will be whiter than they were ever intended to be! I know this and I am his Mom, so he must listen!
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