03/09/11: The Dream Project

Every designer has a fantasy project – designing an album cover for a band, creating an amazing editorial feature spread, etc. Often we’ll even do them for free. Recently I had the opportunity to design my dream project, a wine label! But, there was one caveat, I had to execute it in 2 days and squeeze it in between my other paying jobs.

My fantasy had never involved a time crunch. I imagined hours pouring over research material, doodling sketches idly for a few days, and then weeks huddled over the computer crafting the perfect piece. Alas, that’s the thing about fantasies: they are just that, fantasies. Reality is much more mundane and apparently involves deadlines.

So how did such an awesome project land in my lap? Well, my husband’s friend John started a winery in Brooklyn, appropriately titled Brooklyn Winery, where you participate with a group of other people and partake in all aspects of making a barrel of wine. If you can’t find anyone to go in on a barrel with you, you can sample some of the goods at their superhip wine bar in Williamsburg as well. (Don’t worry: the grapes come from elsewhere.)

If you are lucky enough to participate in a barrel, there are lots of fun steps – grape crushing, tasting, etc. But once you hit the bottling stage, you need a cool label. Erik and I are two of 20 people involved in our barrel and when the call came to design the label, I was excited. Less excited about doing it in 2 days but we can’t have everything we want right?

The wine needed a name so the group was surveyed and with a wink-wink-nudge-nudge, we came up with the name Gowanus after Brooklyn’s infamous Gowanus Canal (recently awarded with a highly prestigious Superfund designation). There was a request to marry this with a sort of steampunk vibe. I had a lot of fun creating different designs. Check out my first four submissions. (Click on image at right to expand).

After a few revisions and a team vote, we now have our final label as shown at the top.

It will be a while before we get to crack open our Gowanus Syrah. But at least it will look cool aging in the bottle.

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01/03/11: ISO Superhero Designer

I’m always cruising around looking for some freelance gigs. Lately I’ve been too busy to apply to anything, but that doesn’t mean my eye doesn’t wander. A couple of days ago, I came across an on-call freelance “designer” position. There was a long blurb about how you need to be available for quick turnaround, need to be flexible, etc. Sounds ok, right? This was followed by a mindboggling “skills/requirements” list:

—Knowledge of HTML, XHTML, SHTML, CSS, and Javascript necessary
—Working knowledge of XML, Actionscript and AJAX desirable
—Knowledge of ADA compliance
—Video editing, conversion and preparing for web and multimedia use
—Preparing presentations for web and multimedia use
—Ability to maintain consistency with existing media and documentation
—Ability to speak and write clearly and concisely
—Able to take on and coordinate multiple assignments
—Ability to produce well crafted and consistent materials
—Skills in the following areas:

* Graphic design, web design & development, interactive media design & development, video editing and preparation for web, media integration
*  Knowledge of Adobe and MS Office Applications
*  Dreamweaver (or comparable web editing software), Flash, Premiere (or comparable video editing software) and vector editing applications particularly desirable
*  Visio, Word, PowerPoint particularly desirable

—Access to your own hardware and the requisite applications for on call work
—May additionally be asked to design graphics, documents, spreadsheets and presentations as necessary

OK, who on earth do they think they are going to find to fill this position? You need to be:

1. A programmer
2. A developer
3. A web designer
4. A video editor
5. A project manager
6. A writer and
7. A graphic designer

Seriously folks. I know we are in a recession and employers need to cut back, but those are SEVEN DIFFERENT JOBS, each with a very highly specialized skill set. Now let’s suppose you are some sort of super human who can do all those things — this employer doesn’t even provide you with your own computer or software (and the hourly rate was less than $75)!

Whoever wrote that job description needs a swift kick in the you know what.

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11/29/10: An Open Letter to My Clients

Dear Client,

When I say three rounds of edits, I guess I don’t mean it. I would like to beg you to take the wheel here and enforce the rules because alas, you are taking great risk when you take advantage of my accommodating personality. Yes I will open your file 300 times and make editorial corrections. Unfortunately, there are consequences and I must say, it’s not totally my fault. Really. Here’s a typical project scenario where with a little client intervention perhaps much of this could have been avoided:

Round 1. You send me an email with changes. I make them. Everything is good. We are smiling and sending emails like this 

Round 2. You send me another email with changes, most of which, frankly, could have been given to me in Round 1, but you acknowledge it with a and know that we are still within our allotted change amount. I gladly make them. Everything is good. Well, except…

Rounds 3, 4, and 5. You send me 3 or 4 emails with tiny changes. I open the file every time I get an email and make the changes. You somehow do not understand that sending multiple emails and not consolidating your changes really should count as additional rounds. Most, if not all changes, could have been given to me during Rounds 1 and 2. Tension ensues. Smileys disappear from our email correspondence.

Round 6. You send me a word doc with changes. I make them. But then, during this round, something terrible happens. I can’t see straight. I’ve looked at this damn thing 6 times. So I miss a change, or I sub the wrong text and and introduce new errors damning myself to a Round 7 and most likely a Round 8. You are not happy :-(

Interlude. You call me freaking out that I made mistakes in your precious document and now it has to be EDITED ALL OVER AGAIN. I meekly try to explain that if we only had 3 rounds of corrections, this would not have happened. You act confused and say things like, “But they were little easy minor things.”

I sigh and think of the 15 minutes it always takes to open, make changes, export to PDF, and send you a new email. But, I trudge on to…

Round 7. I fix and you say “This is perfect, except … “and then give me 3 more changes.

Round 8: Ok, this looks good. Outward s but inward groans.

So now that you know the truth, let’s all try our best to keep the changes to three rounds. Please?

Your humble designer/servant,
Kerstin

 

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10/28/10: Design for Bad

I have a dirty, embarrassing confession. I did freelance graphic design for Glenn Beck. Um, yes, that one—the crazy, morally reprehensible man who basically signifies everything that I oppose.

It’s been a source of secret shame for me for the past couple of years and lately, I’ve felt the need to get it off my chest. Like the telltale heart beating under the floor in Poe’s story, these graphics burn a secret hole in my portfolio. On Judgment Day, I’m pretty sure this work will be my one-way ticket down.

But first, allow me to mount my defense…

It was 2006 and freelance work was pretty scarce for me. You may not remember, but in 2006 Glenn Beck was not yet famous for being a right-wing nutjob. I know it was only four years ago, but think back: George Bush was still president, the Republicans had a rubberstamp Congress, and Fox News was just a mouthpiece for the Bush Administration. Beck had a talking head blathering news show on HLN (the sad cousin to CNN and current home to smash hits like The Joy Behar show). When Team Beck called me, I had to DVR his show because I’d never heard of him. They wanted me to design still slides advertising his new magazine, Fusion.

I won’t lie, I was excited. My work was going to be on TV! I love TV! Plus, they told me to be edgy and creative. I had fun and made some cool ads, which ran after his show. I didn’t know then just how loco he was. His website was not the jam-packed, self aggrandizing bizarre ad-fest it is now. (Anyone need a safe or some gold?) Check it out if you dare put that cookie in your browser!

My successful designs led to new assignments from Fusion. The first was to do a banner for an article about celebrity “rehabs” for sex addictions and saying inappropriate things (remember that guy from Gray’s Anatomy going to rehab after calling TR Knight a not very nice word?).  Again, no real right-wing craziness. (Click image at right for my most shameful work.)

Then I got the sample issue with my work, and well, I learned a lot more about Glenn Beck. He was pretty far to the right, but the Tea Party didn’t exist yet and his stint on Fox News was 2 years away. It all seemed pretty harmless so I did a few more designs:

—A 2-page spread layout in tabloid theme with fun photo manipulations
—For an editorial, an illustration of Beck’s head exploding, shown at the top of this article.

My final piece for the GB empire was probably the one that I am least proud of, ok most ashamed about. It’s an illustration called “How Liberals View the US.”  That really was the beginning of the end… (Click image at right to view this atrocity I created.)

Whew, it’s out. Am I absolved of my sins? Perhaps I need to do some penance first. Any Lefties need some good design?

 

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